Woman helps pay for friend's honeymoon, finds out friend tricked her into paying for it: 'They took advantage of my generosity and used it for their own selfish gain'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Mar 19, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

Some people in life are givers. It could be the friend who lets you play in their closet, and they never ask you to return the top they've let you borrow. It could be your mom who brings you a plate of cut-up fruit into your room without saying a word. What's theirs is yours, tu casa es su casa, or however it goes. These are the people who show their love silently, who don't usually have the words to tell you how much they care about you but will always show you through their actions. It's a blessing to have these people in our lives, and we should express our gratitude for them whenever possible.

When you are the giving person, there's nothing in the world that brings you more joy than to give the gifts you're able to give. Being the giving person comes with one big drawback. People who know of your giving nature might try to take advantage of it and will try to squeeze as much out of you as possible. One person came to Reddit to vent about it when she offered to pay for her friend's honeymoon, then learned her friend was taking it for granted. Read on to see how it played out.

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    "AITAH for taking back a wedding gift I promised to the bride and groom after overhearing a conversation?"

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    Hi reddit. Please excuse my lack of punctuation Grammar in any editing mistakes I made english is not my first language and I'm still learning. I 29 female has been in a friend group of 6 people including the couple 30 female and 31 male since we all went to law school a little while ago. We
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    law school a little while ago. We all live in the same city and regularly hang out and go to lunch together and it's always a good time. Now to be Frank I normally for our get-togethers pay for all those in attendance.
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    We all could use a friend like this!

    As I make well over Double what the others do and when it comes to my choice of restaurant we normally go to an expensive steakhouse that I absolutely love again out of the friend group 1. I am the only one who is child free 2. has the extra income 3. I feel obligated to pick up the tab as it is a part of my culture and how I was raised. My love language is
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    was raised. My love language is gift giving and I always give extravagant gifts for special Occasions anniversaries birthday's promotions baby showers and Above all else Wedding.
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    I absolutely love weddings and as much I am extra generous when it comes to my gifts the couple at hand love to travel but due to co id, inflation and a new baby They haven't been able to do it as much. When I was first asked to Be a bridesmaid The couple Asked me to help them go over thier budget and see if I have some connections to help them cut some cost. Even with my Help
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    cut some cost. Even with my Help They were not going to be able to Afford a honeymoon after the wedding. Or so i thought. So as my wedding gift I planned for them to visit Japan for a week food housing fun money and a Reputable babysitter for their 4 month old. I went to them with
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    month old. I went to them with the gift and they were so happy and over the moon it was a very heartwarming experience and I was so happy I could do this for them.
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    (Detail to add: The airplane tickets and any other reservations were under my name until the week after thier wedding where i would transfer them over. I left an envelope with the itinerary and all of the information regarding the trip on the gift table at the wedding venue)
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    Well the wedding came, And while the bride was getting ready she told me she forgot her veil in her car and ask if I could go get it. I agreed and went to get it as I came back the door was cracked open but I overheard a conversation regarding me from the bride. I stood outside the door and listened. She went on to
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    door and listened. She went on to tell whoever she was on the phone with That I was i and I quote Gullible and That she tricked me into paying for their honeymoon. she began to account all of the gifts that they had received from me and plotting How to get me to give them even more expensive gifts.
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    To say I was crushed would be an understatement. I stood there for a while feeling stupid and used. They took advantage of my generosity and my love for them and used it for their own selfish gain. But my sadness began to turn into rage. I went inside and began to rip a new one into the bride. She tried so hard to
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    bride. She tried so hard to backtrack and I told her to go herself and that I was taking back my gift and she could forget about going to japan. She tried to chase me as I walked down the hall and took the envelope from the gift table calling me a b and a a hole as i left.
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    It's been over 4 months since this happened and when I explained this to my partner she called me an a****** as I could have silently cut the couple out Instead of reacting harshly on the bride's wedding day. That I may Have ruined her wedding day and this will be her last memory of her wedding for years to come. Now I've been feeling kind of bad for my reaction so now I come to you reddit.
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    Am I the a****** for taking back my present after overhearing Conversation from the bride. Just a little tibit of information I later found out that the person she was talking to on the phone was the groom.
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    The woman provided an update on her situation.

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    UPDATE: when I posted this I didn't expect the response that i would get I was hoping for maybe 2 people Give me some In sight to make sure I was not crazy.
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    Real eyes realize real lies.

    1. For those of you saying the stories fake I feel bad for you. I'm sorry that my reality is just a story to you.
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    This would be fine by me!

    2. For those of you who are questioning why I'm funding other people's lifestyles let me explain a bit further. My friends and I used to go to restaurants and each week we would take a turn to pick where we go to choose what restaurant knowing their situation I normally picked up the tab because I didn't not like most places in my city and the places I did like was expensive.
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    3. For those that were calling me A sugar mama. Sorry I am not. I do not have a savior complex. I just came from a wealthy background. And I make pretty well for myself in my field. With just me and my wife our expenses are not much so I'm able to save quite a lot and with that I have extra income.
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    4. For those who told me to evaluate my wife let me explain. My wife is the most unconfrontational person I've ever met. She is the kind of person who will silently block you and cut you out of Her life without so much as an explanation. To be completely clear she did agree with me and that's an appropriate response. It is just not how she would have handled this situation.
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    5. My next point again I stated this in the beginning I am not a native english speaker most of this has to be translated from my native tongue and some of the words got misconstrued. One I did not put my name on the tickets i paid for the tickets and put their names. on them I'm sorry that did not translate correctly the way i wish it did. Of course because it was on my credit card I just called the airport and cancel them.
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    6. Those who we're asking what the rest of my friend groups Opinion Was the remaining 3 agreed with me and sided with me. Of course They were a bit upset with meThey were a bit upset with me because I did not tell them the day of the wedding. They have completely cut The couple in question out.
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    7. Did I learn a lesson? Yes I did. Going forward I will be less generous with those around me. I was raced in a very generous household where we gave out money to those in me quite Regularly.
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    But that was through charities and such. I will start to focus on self-love And learning to have a backbone and not to spend so much money on other people that don't deserve it. I will be more cautious and careful going forward and keeping my eye out for signs that people could be using me.
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    8. Thank you reddit and all of those who commented quite frankly I'm going to be deleting reddit off my phone so I will not be able to respond to any other comments. I hope I got the chunk of the questions out of the way. Thank you for all the kind words And personal testimonies to those who Have been in my shoes and how they got through it. And
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    how they got through it. And for those who decided to call my post fake Just because you do not believe it can work in reality please and kindly go yourself.
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friendship drama aita honeymoon friends reddit story relationships wedding reddit thread Reddit money relationship drama
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